Blog Eight - Unhappily Nappy

I decided last July for a myriad of reasons that I would go natural.  Actually, I had been thinking on the decision for a while and by July I had 13 weeks of new growth and a made up mind that “The Big Chop” was just what I wanted to do. At this point I should probably insert that I am fickle and very unpredictable so my mind being made up was actually what occurred in the moment that I decided I would rather cut it off than to have to relax it that day,  (typical of me).  Though I enjoyed my scalp regaining its health and I liked the ease of wash and go hair, (for the most part… though there was still much time required to moisturize my kinks and curls and attempt to organize hair that could not be tamed), as time went on, the style of natural hair did not suit my personality nor did it suit my lifestyle.  I know there are people who attach so much “blackness” to being natural and authentic to your “roots” and they can have their opinion; that is how they feel.  For me, in my everyday life, it did not work for me.  I am no less black, no less proud of my skin color and certainly no less authentic than I have ever been.

There were some people who were disappointed that I returned to the lure of the “creamy crack” aka relaxer, but for the most part no one really cared, not that they should.  It is my hair and my commitment to time to do it that matters.  I am now satisfied with my relaxed hair, though I am more aware of what my scalp needs to be healthy and am very mindful of my hair type, texture and temperament when dealing with it, chemicals and styling.

Lessoned learned: Be willing to try new things, but never allow yourself to be pigeonholed into being someone or doing something that does not work for you.  There is no harm in saying, “I thought I would like it but I didn’t” and moving on with your life.  And anyone who does not accept the fact that you have a right to change your mind should be reevaluated for their role in your life.  People who stifle you will only keep you from growing and you do not ever need anyone who is going to hold you back.

Be you, beauties, and love the life you live.

Blog Seven Transitioning Update

So I am still working with my natural hair.  There are some days when I love it more than others.  I am very, very impatient with its growth.  With straight hair, when it grows an inch, you see an inch.  With Natural hair, when it grows an inch, you may see about a quarter of an inch of growth.  That is very frustrating to me.  But I am still sticking with me, mostly at the request of my husband. 

Being the product princess that I am, I have been trying many new products.  I will give a list of what I have used and what I think about them.  From Miss Jessie’s to Kinky-Curly, I have tried quite a few.  So come back this Thursday and we will “wrap” hair care.

Blog SIX - I am the ISH!!

Bold title, I know, but that is how I feel this morning.  I feel like my swag in on 3 million watts! No candle in the sunshine am I.  I am a complete and total package.  It has been a long time since I have felt so good about myself.  It has probably been about 8 years.  I have been through a lot since 2001 – 2002.  That is the last time that I really felt like me.  Since that time I have grown a lot, I have moved on from some people and some things, I have defined myself by different standards and I have made the decision to live a life that would make God proud.  Oh, and I became a wife… how in the world could I forget such a significant change?  In the midst of all of the changes, somehow I lost track of who I was, what I was, who I had become.  And I am usually uber-confident, so for the past few years, I have felt like I was very out of balance.  And I think that is part of life.  Sometimes we grow so fast, move so fast, this it takes us time to catch up with our lives.  Months and years go by and you look around and you’re a mom, a professional, a wife, a leader, a title, a moniker without any real substance.  You used to be a person, but lately you just are…. You are whatever you are called at that point in time. You have learned to respond to the calls, but you have no true feeling of who you are.  I know I am not the only person that has felt like that.  Oprah did an entire show on it a few years back.  I called it her, “why women should not get married” episode.   LOL!! Most of the women who were on show were talking about how they were divorced because they lost themselves in their marriage.  But I digress.  I am not talking about them.  I am talking about how absolutely fabulous I am. 

In the midst of being lost you can do what I did at first and what most people do.  You can get angry at the changes that have taken place, the people who have labeled you, the positions that have bound you.  Or you can do what I did second.  You can recognize that some where under all of the STUFF is the real you.  I am more than any one label could ever describe.  I am more than a wife; more than a daughter; more than a friend; more than a church member; more than a motivator; more than a confidante.  I am ME.  Me is more than any one or any set of titles can suggest.  I am everything!  God created me in His likeness and in His image.  And He is everything.  He did NOT make me to be Him, so I am not God, and I do not desire to be.  But I am not limited to what people think about me.  I am all that I desire to be and I have the potential to yet and still be more than what I am now.

I hope that you are being the best you that you can be.  You may feel overwhelmed by life, by the titles, by the expectations that are on you.  If you do, shake loose!  You were not created to be bound by titles and expectation. You were created to serve your Creator, to be a vessel for Love and Light and Truth to flow through.  Let go of the things and the people that hold you in places of bondage and make you feel that you must conform to belong.  All that God requires of you is that you be the best you that you can be, true to who He created you be.  Dig underneath all of the things that you have been taught, that you have been called, that you have put on to protect yourself and make you feel secure.  Learn about who you are.  And when you do, you will come to understand that you are exactly all that you need to be.  And in that you will recognize, as I do, that you are the ISH!!!

Plus Size Fashion - DKNY Jeans

I really like the new DKNY for Lane Bryant Line at Lane Bryant.  They have always been at the stylish center for plus sized fashion and I like what they are doing.  I can see myself pairing several of the looks with a few pairs of shoes/boots from the new Military inspired like from Nine West.  I am in online shoppers heaven with what I am seeing right now.  Thanks to Donna Karan for bringing an affordable line with high class and big name to the plus sized masses.

Check the line out HERE

My Fav items:

 DKNY Jeans Cozy 

  Soho Boot CutDistressed Jean

ashed Boot Cut

 The line is moderately priced and very wearable.  There are at least 3 items that I consider must haves for my newly downsized closet.  Check it out and let the fashion inspiration move you.

Also when I went on the site today, (which I do maybe once a month) I noticed that they have opend on Junior Plus Size site, Loop 18.  About 23 years to late if you ask me... *=-)* but on time for this generation none the less.  My only complaint with that site is they use some plus size models, but opt to use thinner models to disply leggings, stretch pants and such. 

Lane Bryant/Loop 18 Staff, Listen up: The message you are sending is that you did not feel comfortable showing a full figure in very fitting clothing.  So the message that I am receiving is that if I am bigger than the model I shoudn't wear it.  If you find that to be true, you shouldn't sell it.  If you find that to be false, up the volume in the those trousers. Please and thank you.

Blog FIVE - Transitioning Part 2

As my hair is growing out, I do not only love it more but I love me more.  My hair is so much like “me”.  It  is a mixed back of textures and tones, and has varying needs.

Some parts are nappy, kinky and very coarse and stubborn.  But these tight kinky coils require the most hydration and care.  The more I care for and nourish them, the easier they are to maintain and the more beautifully they curl, getting praise from outsiders.   In the top the strands are thinner and the kink is less tight.  These strands tend to be silky, requiring less attention but they get frizzy much easier when they are over pampered, become lazy unlike the stubborn kinks.  Then, in the very crown of my head is one small patch that is stick straight.  It will only frizz when I try to get it to play nice with the other textures.  It likes to do its own thing, which it mostly spike out and would much rather be left alone.

I have learned to see the beauty of my complex character in the multiple textures of my hair.  I realize it is quite natural to be a mixed bag.  And I am 100% natural.

In May, before I made my big chop!    Me as of Sept 6, 2010